Memediana Jones and the Temple of Fake News Pt. 1

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Greeting fellow internet explorer's, seeing as how this is a new site and a new face I'll first take the time to introduce myself. I am Memediana Jones, tomb raider, memeologist, and spelunker of the darkest and dankest of the web. When I'm not fighting normies with a bull whip, or punching figurative nazis in the face (cause fuck the crystal skull, seriously) I'll be here sharing my adventures with you all. So without further ado let me share with you the story of what was once a shining city on a hill, a beacon of journalism and integrity that has fallen to become nothing more than a corrupted temple of fake news.

cnn fake news Yeah you saw this coming right?

You see friends when attempting to understand just how bad CNN is now, you have to understand how far they fell from grace. The CableNewsNetwork was actually a bold step in how America, and the world for that matter, gets its information. It was the first channel dedicated to nothing but news, the first to run on a 24 hour cycle, and the first news network started by the one and only Ted Turner. Thats right, Captain Planet’s dad had a vision that the news didn't have to be delivered in 3 hour chunks once a day.

pencil thin mustache And a sweet, sweet pencil thin mustache.

Keep in mind this happened all they way back in 1980. For you young students out there, that's before you could read the fucking news on a smartphone. Being able to turn on a tv at any time and see exactly what the hot story of the hour was is kind of a big deal then. So CNN exploded, hiring like mad and opening sister channels and networks.They hosted presidential debates, they had reporters around the world that could jump on a big story live, and give to the minute coverage. It got to the point where the only way to compete with CNN was to just make another 24 hour dedicated news network and now there are dozens of them.

This magic utopian news era lasted until a very specific point in time, and that point in time was 2013. You see boys and girls in 2013 Jeff Zucker took over the reins from Jim Walton. Walton was the old school coffee swilling, indoor cigarette smoking journalist you picture in your mind, the Walter Cronkite type that valued the ethics and morals you learn in college. Jeff Zucker is not that, he's the opposite of that, and once he got the reigns to arguably the most powerful news media, it showed. Jeff Zucker is a hollywood style limousine liberal and at the helm of CNN he's so far locked the rudder to port and the boats just doing left hand doughnuts into icebergs.

One of these people is a media icon and a cartoonish buffoon that's laughably bad at his job. The other is a lifelike caricature of homer simpson. ( Siracha Sauce )

Now that we have a firm understanding of what we're dealing with when we dig into some CNN meme goodness, in our next segment of this expidition into fake news well examine all the ways zuck cucked CNN.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5