The Temple of Fake News Pt. 5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Epilogue: CNN basically fucking gives up.

What we've been covering so far in this internet story series is ancient history, which in autism time is anything older than 5 minutes. But if you think CNN has pumped the brakes at any time since these past fuck ups you'd be dead wrong. This lollercoaster is still streaming down the tracks at full speed, ready to jump the rails at any time into CNN's next disaster. Let's take for example CNN's coverage of Charlottesville.

Dave Matthews band heartbroken by violenceThis is a real thing that happened. CNN always turn to the experts in political commentary.

For those that have been living in the Congolese rainforest for the past couple months; a Neo-Nazi drove a car into a group of counter protesters after a protest against removing a statue of Robert E. Lee. This polarized the nation and propelled the Dodge Challenger into the coveted title of “most racist automobile.” According to CNN this initial was just Nazis being stood up to by average citizens, and Drumpfinator was somehow putting the Nazis on a pedestal.

This was compounded by the fact the Donny Two Scoops blamed “many sides” for the violence. Here's the thing though President Trumpnomicon wasn't wrong. It wasn't normal people counter protesting Nazis, it was black clad Antifa anarchists starting a riot against Nazis. But CNN didn't want you to know that, they wanted you to live in a fantasy where Antifa were superheros and just like BLM they didn't do nuffin. You see they were just committing violence to "eradicate hatred".

antifa axe

They asked D to the T multiple times to disavow Nazis... so he did... multiple times... But CNN was too busy high fiving each other over how they caught the president in Hitler cosplay to see their credibility sinking even lower still. So just like they did with the BLM phenomenon, the fake Russia gate scandal, and the second meme war, they rode with the nonsense “Trump is a Nazi apologist” bandwagon for the better part of a week. They got so lazy that after trump gave his ninth or tenth speech about how Nazis were bad still, they posted the equivalent of a Buzz Feed article and called it a day.

cnn buzz feedCNN, continuing their gold medal winning reporting.

As you can see through our journey, calling CNN fake news is really just like calling the sky blue. I'm not saying of course that all media in the modern age is totally free of bias, Fox News is also a steaming pile of hot garbage, but CNN seems to be taking it to another level. It's almost as if “fake news” is their mission statement. This reputation has gotten to them recently, with even survivors affected by Hurricane Harvey heckling them and basically telling them to get BTFO (Blown The Fuck Out).

Hell, even the most recent Las Vegas shooting was too juicy to miss taking a big shit on. For example did you know that CNN wants you to give up on trying to wrap your head around it? No seriously look at this article literally asking you why the motive behind the deadliest mass shooting ever matter. I mean, it's not like it is a good idea to try to prevent this in the future or anything, look the other way. You could honestly mistake this for an oped piece by Werner Herzog on the tragedy.

“The motive behind the killing doesn't matter. Those people are deceased as we all will be. Gaze into the horror of the inescapable entropy and know that your life is meaningless.”

The thing is, this overview is just what I tripped over while I stumbled through the wrecked halls of the fake news temple. There is an extensive amount of information available, take a look at this for example, but I feel it's time to move on. Until next time memeologists, never stop adventuring.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5